There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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