Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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