She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
