STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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