I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
