We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
