i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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