With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize