god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
