she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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