That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize