That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
