I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
