I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Text me some of your sweat
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