I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
