I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
