Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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