I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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