That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize