If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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