Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
