Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
