dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
