I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
