Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize