I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
