Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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