If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
