Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
