i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
