i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
