I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
