How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
