when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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