Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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