thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
