Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My cat gives me a boner
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
