Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
