So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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