your parents love me but you hate me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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