You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
