White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
