why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
