I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
