Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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