I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
