And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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