I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
