Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
