Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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