A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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