apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
