you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
