you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
