i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
