and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
