I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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