After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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