all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
