Where did you get a picture of my penis
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
