Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize