Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
