Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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